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Your marriage is coming to an end. It is not pleasant; it is not how you wanted things to go, but it is reality. The thought of having to leave the person you have dedicated so much of your love and affection to is frightening. Indeed, the entire process of dissolving a union you once thought unbreakable has put you in a state of despair and confusion. Unfortunately, you do not have time to be distressed. Or at least, you cannot allow the strain of the divorce to paralyze your capacity to act. For it is imperative that you act—and act immediately.
The assets that you and your soon to be ex-partner accumulated together must be divided. Your other half will no doubt have lawyers at work trying to secure them as much of the marital estate as possible. You need someone on your side to do the same.
There are many issues to work out. How the bank accounts, property, and other valuables that you own together are only a few of the many issues that have to be resolved. It is possible for you and your partner to divide the estate through mediation. This can help you avoid a more costly form of adjudication. Many divorcing couples who are able to work in a collaborative way—without the anger, recrimination, and desire for revenge that other couples come to the process with—find it better to sit down and calmly divide the assets to their mutual satisfaction.
Even if you both decide to undertake a mediated divorce proceeding, you will still need a lawyer. It is important to have a complete understanding of your marital assets. In many marriages, one of the partners deals with the finances while the other leaves them to it. If you occupied the latter role in the relationship, it is important that you get up to speed on where things stand. You must have thorough knowledge and insight into your partner’s finances. You must also ensure that no major purchases or asset liquidations are carried out while the process is underway. Such actions are typically forbidden by the presiding judge, and you must make sure your partner abides by this rule.
A lawyer who specializes in same-sex divorce will possess the knowledge and the means to do a thorough forensic examination of all your marital assets. They will also be able to set measures in motion to monitor the financial activity of your partner, so that you are not deprived of anything of value during the divorce proceedings.
Same-sex divorce is handled just like any other kind of divorce in New York State. However, you want to work with a lawyer with specialist knowledge of this type of divorce. They will have a more tacit understanding of your circumstances as an LGBT person living in the community.
One of the most important issues you will need to sort through is the custody and visitation arrangements of any children you and your partner may have together. If you have adopted children together, then you must ensure that your parental rights are preserved. Any final arrangement must give you the right to see your kids regularly. Even if you decide that it is in their best interest for your partner to have custody, you do not give up your right to see them when you want to. You will go on being a parent. This does not change because of the divorce, and the final settlement should reflect that.